


Borderline

by Sadness_pudding



Series: Bday Keith Modern [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abandonment, Bday Keith Modern, Borderline, Depression, Drugs, F/M, Fem Keith, Keith October, Keith anguished, Keith is a Mess, angust, keith birthday, keith hurt, keith is bad at feelings, keith kogane - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:41:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26784562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadness_pudding/pseuds/Sadness_pudding
Summary: Keith is always on edge. She wants to feel something. and she desperately wants it.
Series: Bday Keith Modern [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953061
Kudos: 3





	Borderline

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bday Keith Modern](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Bday+Keith+Modern).



> Work 2 for Bday Keith Modern.
> 
> Take advantage and excuse the mistakes.

Day 2 - 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞.

#FemKeith || #BdayKeithModern

Warnings: some mentions about sex, drugs and depression.

Damn, Keith will only suffer in these fics. You guys fight my friends.

Do you know how it is always on the edge of everything, but never beyond that?

Keith knows how exhausting it can be, but then again, she was too out there to even care about herself.

Keith lay down on the bed and closed his eyes.

Boys are stupid. Especially those from the empire. You can't trust them and their stupid way of being.

They all look so perfect, straight, so beautiful, kind. But Keith knows it's all about the facade.

She knows that they don't give her the right to anything. That interrupts when you speak or call you stupid when expressing an opinion different from the standard response you expect.

They are no longer in past centuries. But it seems that even now, the old habits still exist.

Shiro is always so focused on his work. In being the example of everyone in your life. Always looking for the unreachable, believing that he can get it.

Lance, with all his charm, trickster and smile that catches anyone.

James always direct and confident. Ready to put anyone in their place if necessary.

Ryan, Hunk, Regris, Matt ...

All boys from the empire.

They irritate Keith deeply. Even more because they didn't understand what it was like to be like her.

Sometimes she just imagined herself setting them on fire.

They thought the girl could really breathe fire. Being the dragon he was.

Sometimes she was good, but nothing more.

Sometimes she was mean, but nothing more.

Just testing the limit of all your lives.

Keith also never really felt happy.

He always reached the edge of happiness, but he never really touched it.

She was never sad either. Not really. He never got the feeling completely.

She was lukewarm. It felt warm. Neither hot nor cold.

Just, normal.

She wants to feel something. Something real, not just a taste of feeling.

Damn, until now being fucked by one of the idiots in the empire she felt paralyzed.

What could she do to feel things? Anything could do. She just wanted to feel alive.

But nothing ever worked. Be a drug, boy, girl. Nothing excited her.

Humor always wandering around, never making up its mind. So close to happiness and instantly on the edge of the precipice of sadness. But as always. Nothing more.

It was like having your heart ripping and your mind spinning when the beginning of a feeling was soon thrown to the other.

She got tired of feeling on the edge. It was tiring.

"Let it help," Shiro said. "You have such great potential.

But that was not what she wanted.

This was not what she needed.

"I can hear you, maybe I can understand you," said Lance, always so helpful. But the sad boy wouldn't understand it either.

That's why she didn't even try.

Hunk, offered comfort and hugs. James offered something more solid for her to wake up for good. Matt tried to take her on adventures around the world.

But none of that made her feel anything. And this time spitting fire. But the real anger was not there.

Is that even living?

Keith didn't know. But she searched for anything that would make her feel alive at last.

As much as it bored her, Keith kept going out with the empire boys. To kill time while not finding his objective green and not to feel so alone.

Bad luck hers. Because she ended up pushing everyone to the limit too.

And when she realized she was alone. And for the first time he felt something for real.

Fear.

It was terrifying, but at the same time so good. Finally, she felt something. But she was also losing.

The fear was something unlike anything he felt. And as it was the only thing that came up, she decided to put it into practice and see how far it could go.

You did dangerous things. It messed with the wrong people. He accepted jobs that put his life in constant danger.

And you know, she never felt as alive as when she did these things.

They were playing with fire. One of the empire boys came back and warned her.

But she remembers being compared to fire. Then fine.

If she was the fire. It couldn't burn right?

Abuse feeling while you can. Enjoy that you finally found something. But remember, everything in excess is bad. Always being on the edge, it stopped being something exciting. It has become as common as before.

And it was then that he realized that he pushed everything to the limit again.

The feeling was gone. Loneliness returned, and it returned to the monotony of never feeling anything real. Nothing to hold.

But if she still lived. You need to find something new urgently. Keith didn't know if he could bear to live without feeling anything for a long time. And even though she knew that, she felt nothing.

° • ° • ° • °° • ° •

End. Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. If you want any information about the project just ask me. Errors, doubts or anything else can charge me in the comments.


End file.
